Difficult Behaviour-Teenagers-Part 2

Difficult Behaviour-Teenagers
Part 2

As parents we are often expected to be, these unflappable, sweet, charming, wouldn’t have a nasty thought kind of people. People whom 24/7 have unlimited patience, never get tired or have an anxious stressful moment. Little House on the prairie or The Walton’s, type family who live on a mountain. Where momma, is momma and stays at home doing what momma’s do best. Papa is the head of this wonderful family and does what papa’s do, all the manly stuff and a bit of man to man with the boys, the girls, well they’re left to mama.

Back here in the real world however, where momma and papa have to work to keep a roof over their little darling’s heads, the stresses are much, much higher. We do become stressed, worried, taken for granted and yes, tired. So when the little treasure shouts, “I hate you, I’m going to stay at my friends house,” or “It’s not fair, I never get anything, my friends mum wouldn’t say no! She would let him/her go/have it,” and of course, you say, “ Sorry darling, you can have anything you want or go anywhere you like,” and you smile. Yeah right! Of course you don’t, you want to wring their selfish little neck, lock them in their bedroom, put a ball and chain round their leg or just say goodbye and slam the door as hard as you can manage. That is emotion every parent will feel at some time bringing up a child. It is normal and healthy as long as you stay in control, never strike a child/young person. You can dream about it, just don’t do it!
Because then, you have lost control and if the adult loses control, that means there is a child in charge.

It is not wrong or a crime to let a child/young person see there parents show genuine emotion. Try not to scream, shout or swear if possible, this will usually lead to you losing your temper. A flat palm held up towards them, with eye-to-eye contact and a firm, “Not now!” Often works. Then lower your hand and quickly remove yourself from the situation. Often if you seek the company of some one else in the house or go out side and chat to a neighbour, they might not want to be difficult in front of some one else. Give them an ultimatum like, “ You clean that disgusting bedroom of yours and I will think about it.” Or “When was the last time, you did something for me,” it gets them thinking and realising they are not the only person on the planet, much to their surprise.

At the end of the day what ever we do or say, teenagers are difficult. It is a difficult time for parents and for the teenagers themselves. They are struggling with a lot of new feelings, emotions, responsibilities and often a lot of peer pressure. I know, I know, we hear a lot about this peer pressure thing and we might scoff, but to the young person it is a big, big deal. Children and young people have committed suicide over peer pressure, become involved in drugs, crime etc and almost always against what their common sense is telling them. So, important; don’t underrate peer pressure, but stand your ground, have fun with your kids (when tempers allow that’s is) as often as time will allow. As long as you do the best you know how, ask for help when you need it, be proud of the difficult job of parenthood you are doing and hang in there, you know you love them really!