Difficult Behaviour-Teenagers-Part1

Difficult Behaviour-Teenagers-
Part one,

So! You’ve brought up this little darling for X amount of years, now your faced with this angry, growling and demanding teenager. I have heard so many parents and carer’s say, “What have I done wrong,” or comments like, “Maybe if I had done this or maybe that etc. What more should I/ could I, have done?”
Well, maybe you should do more. Maybe you should do more, for yourself. I suggest for starters demand more respect. More respect for ourselves, our home, our FREE time and belongs. You are not a doormat, you are the person who gave birth to them, the person that cared for them when they needed it.
There are some behaviours, we as parents should just flatly refuse to accept. If we do not as an adult demand respect from our children for ourselves, then we cannot expect them to respect other adults. Other adults such as the police, teachers, employers,
family members such as grandparents etc.

So many, many times I have sat and watch parents of the young people as a Foster Carer I have care for, give in to unreasonable demands. The parent has said, “No!” initially. Then the young person has continue to whine, interfere with an important conversation and even resorted to temper tantrums, until the exhausted parent has relented and said, “Let him/her have it, I’ll get no peace until he/she does.”
Wrong! You will get peace until the next time they want something and you say, “No!” Never ever say “No!” Unless you intend to carry it through, you will only create tension for yourself and teach the young person that is what they need to do, to get what they want. It doesn’t work, never has and never will. It could even lead to a serious rift in your relationship with your child and that I am sure is the last thing you want.

My foster children and my own always say, “If you don’t say no, straight away I know I am in with a chance.” If I am not sure if I can afford want they want, the availability of it or if they should actually have it, I will always say, “I’ll see.” Or “Let me think about it.” I will then find out what I need to know and go back as soon as I can fully armed with why they can or can’t have it. Sometimes it will be an alternative, sometimes just a straight “No”. Then I will explain why I think or feel the way I do. That is reasonable behaviour from me that will in turn teach them reasonable behaviour when dealing with others.

We are the caretakers of our children/young people. Firstly, they learn from us, secondly the outside world where they will use the tools we have equipped them with.